Uber Frugal Month: Day 31 The Finish!

A bit of a misnomer in the title -- this isn't the finish, but the beginning!

Today’s mantra: When you reach a place of tenable, enjoyable, lifelong frugality, you won’t worry about an end date for your frugality. You’ll have arrived.

Today’s action: Reflect on what this month was like for you. What was difficult? What surprised you? Could you live like this for the long-term?

Today is a day of reflection instead of a challenge. For me, the month really was no different than any other, except we were more consciously aware of some of our spending (namely entertainment).In fact, cutting back on entertainment spending was the single most difficult thing to do.

What surprised me is that it can be done, but we have to remain very mindful. A few things going forward:

• Goodbye bus. Maybe when spring rolls around and I have a later class I will revisit the bus, but after one month enough is enough. I have to get down to the stop a full hour early because I can't depend on the bus to be on time, so I must get an earlier one. Then, I may be stuck at school for up to an hour waiting on a bus. The parking pass is worth it to get that lost time standing on a curb back.
• Goodbye alcohol. I can't be trusted after more than two drinks -- I'll order pizza, decide to go out for food, or do something equally dumb with money. One drink on occasion at home or at a dinner at a brewery is fine -- it doesn't trigger the eating/spending binge. 
• The major diet change I hinted at a couple of weeks ago is a keeper. More details in February, but this should bring down the grocery bill a bit.
• I can't give up fun outings, particularly with DS2. Almost-13 is a hard age, and we really connect when we have one-on-ones. A weekly treat -- inexpensive, but $ none the less -- is staying in the budget.
• I need to bring down some "fixed" bills. February is the month I tackle internet, the phone bill, and insurance. No more excuses -- I figure there is about $150 there we can save a month.
• I need to up my winter game and get outside no matter what (unless it is waiting at a bus stop).
• Saving more is great, but the simple fact is Mo will need to earn more. I'm at my limit with school, and I really should scale back work somewhat. This is something we are planning to work on over the coming months. 

We are definitely in this for the long haul -- perhaps forever! But something tells me it will get even easier once we have everything fine tuned even more. 

Uber Frugal Month: Day 30

The mid-winter blahs hit me every year in late January and February, and it appears that this year is no exception. The dark, the biting cold, the ice -- every year I come face to face with my own mortality and anxiety steps up the game. The horrible, frenzied anxiety, not the dull, plodding type that is often lurking below the surface. The only shining point is that it doesn't seem as severe as usual. I like to think that is because I am healthier AND I am taking control of life instead of letting circumstances control me.

My beloved Pacific is not perfect. It just is.

The UFM challenge is about perfection today.

Today’s mantra: Imperfection is not only frugal, it’s also liberating.

Today’s action: Acknowledge, and embrace, your imperfections. My favorite way of doing this is by making a list of all the things in my life that aren’t perfect, but that make me happy anyway.

This is fitting, giving my anxiety and the fact that trying to achieve perfection is one of the things I repeatedly do even though it triggers the anxiety! I'm trying to foster a "good enough" mindset, but the fear of failure runs deep. Combine that with the normal background of aging anxiety, and there is then severe anxiety that this failure will be my last chance. I know, a vicious circle. So, things that aren't perfect but that make me happy?

• My children and spouse, of course ;)
• My silly old puppy
• My fluff-butt cats
• Sometimes myself
• My schooling, in general
• My desk in particular, and office set up overall
• My Prius(nicknames "freedom car" for reasons best saved for a different post!)
• My outdoor gear - used, sometimes ugly, but always serves me well.
• My library
• My moleskine planner
• My beat up hydroflask

I know there is more, but on this cold January morning the above will have to suffice. So another thing that not perfect but makes me happy? This list!

Uber Frugal Month: Day 29

On the home stretch for January!

Today's UFM challenge:

Today’s mantra: The myth of consumerism is that buying lots of stuff means you’re exerting your free will, but in reality, you’re just turning your money over to someone else for purposes that they’ve designated.

Today’s action: Write down five words that define you and what’s most important to you. Are any of those words related to your material possessions?

Five words that define me:
1-Achiever
2-Outdoors
3-Love
4-Scientist
5-Thinker

Mrs. FW is right of course, we aren't defined by our stuff. Stuff is just tools to achieve the things that define, not the definition itself. Of course, my problem isn't stuff, really. No, my problem is spending on experiences that don't really add long lasting value to my life. Meals out and bar nights, that sort of thing. Judging from my list, those things also don't define me and they can't even me construed as tools for leading my best life.

Food for thought!

Uber Frugal Month: Day 28

The end of the month is near, and we survived another weekend!

Today's UFM challenge focuses on finding the sweet spot between quality of life and savings.

Today’s mantra: Frugality isn’t about deprivation or hardship, it’s about spending money only on what truly matters to you.

Today’s action: Examine areas in your life where frugality makes you feel deprived. Brainstorm ways to optimize or make substitutions for these things.

This has been my main challenge this month, as well. Cheap deli treats and beers at home are almost as good as (and sometimes better than) nights out, but sometimes I think we still want a night out.

Family movie nights at home are awesome and a definite long term keeper, but I think we will still venture into a theater once or twice a year.

For some things, like entertainment, I think a hard reset is best. Dial it back to almost nothing then slowly increase it until we find the sweet spot. For other things, we can just continue to tweak and cut corners until we find that sweet spot.

Never stop tweaking and looking for new savings, though!

Uber Frugal Month: Day 27

The weather is confused. Snow, sleet, rain, sunshine. It feels like the early days of spring, but it's too soon for that. Climate change or just a simple regional vagary? Likely a bit of both...

Ug. Today's challenge is actually the one issue I have with most "frugal" writers. I have been frugal for years out of necessity, and it's only in the last couple that we allowed lifestyle creep to rob of us our income once we clawed ourselves above the poverty line.

Today’s mantra: Life-–no matter how extravagantly you spend-–isn’t perfect, so you might as well spend a whole lot less and delight in the imperfection.

Today’s action: Identify areas in your life where you can save both time and money.

The truth is, 80% of the time frugality DOES take more time. Often, false dichotomies are made. Yes, a sandwich takes less time to make than eating at a restaurant, but that's comparing apples to oranges. More realistic -- cooking an actual meal from scratch takes more time than buying expensive premade meals and tossing them in the microwave. Even further, grocery shopping for scratch cooking and saving money takes more time then throwing premade goodies, regardless of cost, into the cart. Calling and negotiating lower bills or comparing insurance rates takes more time then just accepting price hikes.

A more realistic approach it the frugality and time concern is that we need to decide whether to save time now or later. Getting the fast meal now means I won't have as much time later because I will have to work longer to pay for it.

It's also about balance. Recognize that sometimes the cheapest option cost more in time. Sometimes, the most frugal option from both the money and time standpoint lies between the two extremes of most time-efficient and most frugal.

Uber Frugal Month: Day 26

We've kept up our Friday family movie night tradition through January, and it is saving us money! Netflix and the library are our friends, along with cheapie frozen pizza (disclaimer: I usually opt for healthier leftovers). This is one thing we will continue after the uber frugal month!

Today's UFM challenge is to realize the good life is free.

Today’s mantra: True happiness and fulfillment isn’t bought in a store (or on Amazon, despite how much I love that site… ).

Today’s action: Think through what your own good life is and how you can get there (or if you’re already there, meditate on gratitude).

I sorta agree, sorta don't. I agree that stuff beyond the necessities likely won't buy the good life, but experiences are the "stuff" that creates a good life. Many of these are free with strings. For example:

• Family makes life good, but it cost more to raise a family than be alone.
• Same goes for friends. Even cheapie friend experiences have some sort of overhead.
• Add pets to this, too. 
• The great outdoors usually has a slight entrance fee, whether it's park passes, gear, or traveling to the area. (Or in our cases, planning to move to a more expensive area for necessities but will give us endless nearly free outdoor experience options.)
• A million other examples -- museums, travel, art shows, aquariums, etc....

But it is true, although experiences can be bought, they aren't from a store nor are they simply "stuff." Using our goal, we want to "buy" into a location -- this will entail higher housing, gas, and food costs. In exchange, we will have miles of trails, mountains, lakes, and the ocean literally outside our door or within a couple mile walk/bike ride. We will be able to be outside year around without fighting the weather, we won't be car dependent if we don't want to be, and we will have time to further development along our creative and educational paths.

Uber Frugal Month: Day 25

I think we have broken the Thursday habit of going out! Yay! 

Today's UFM challenge is timely:

Today’s mantra: Fun doesn’t have to be expensive.

Today’s action: Plan a frugal gathering and invite your friends over!

We are in the process of planning a small get together in a week or so. Adult board game party :) Everyone will bring their favorite tabletop game. We'll supply the fixin's for some white Russians (homemade Kahlua, baby!) and something snacky. Knowing our friends, they'll BYOB and BYOF as well!

Uber Frugal Month: Day 24

Hedonic adaptation is the real topic of today's UFM challenge.

Today’s mantra: The more we buy, the more we perceive we need. The inverse is also true: the less we buy, the less we think we need. We are content with whatever we teach ourselves we need.

Today’s action: Ponder this: When are you most content? Can you be content with fewer material possessions? With spending less money?

Over the year's we have adapted to all sorts of things, then had to break those adaptations. Once upon a time I could only get myself to work between 8am-12pm. It had to be at Starbucks and it required two venti ice chai teas. I was spending $50 a week. Then, my client list dried up and going somewhere to work was no longer an option. I switched to chai at home at first, then eventually just plain coffee.

Another example is our recent entertainment extravaganzas every weekend. We had adapted to it as normal, and felt deprived if we weren't spending $100+ every Saturday. Now less than $10 for a quiet evening feels extravagant and satisfies just as much, if not more.

The take-away from today's challenge for me is to continue to reverse the hedonic adaptation of our ridiculously wealthy first world lives!

Uber Frugal Month: Day 23

Today is our wedding anniversary :) We already celebrated on our mini-trip, ,so it really is just a normal day, though.

Today’s mantra: Once we get past the debilitating position of trying to define ourselves by our things, we can express gratitude for what we have instead of anguish over what we don’t have.

Today’s action: Look around you and list everything you’re thankful for.

The things I am grateful for:

• A supportive and loving spouse that is also my best friend.
• Two amazing sons that are growing into amazing men.
• Having a dependable car.
• Having a house that is a veritable mansion by global standards.
• My ability to go back to school and follow my dreams.
• My little office corner at home -- it's a happy spot.
• COFFEE!!!
• Smart phones - what a time to be alive!
• That mountains and oceans exist, and sometimes they are side by side.
• Kitties and puppies, oh my!
• The plethora of tasty vegetables in my fridge right now.
• Tahini -- it's amazing!
• Space heaters.
• Sunshine on winter days.
• Rain in summer.
• Snow that melts quickly.
• Hiking trails.
• Microscopes and their ability to take us to new worlds.
• Telescopes for the same reason.
• Modern medicine and the ability to access it.
• Public transportation.
• Libraries.
• Books and the people who write them.

Really, I could go on forever. So much to be grateful for!

Uber Frugal Month: Day 22

A cold is the culprit behind my fatigue the last few days. Thus far it is mild, so I'm hoping it passes quickly...

The UFM challenge today is all about DIY and insourcing tasks around the home, and splitting these responsibilities with a partner.

Today’s mantra: Paying for services cements your reliance on money and distances you from your most valuable teammate: your partner. Instead of using chores as an opportunity to grow closer, you’re using money to make the daily realities of your life less real.

Today’s action: Sit down with your partner and discuss what you could insource, both to save money and also to deepen your relationship.

This is timely for us. In one year's time we will be facing the decision whether to sell or rent our home. Regardless of that final decision, the house must be brought to a better condition. We already started the process by going through and making a spreadsheet of everything that needs done. Certain tasks fall on certain people due to our current skills. Mo is definitely more of cleaner, while I am more of a yard cleanup person. We will be using the spreadsheet to guide our weekly and monthly projects over the next year, while trying to oursource as much as possible!

Uber Frugal Month: Day 21

I need to find my motivation. Sitting around like a potato is going to make me fail my classes and miss this month's earnings goal. Where is my motivation?

The UFM today is important, but I don't think it has a major impact on my spending:

Today’s mantra: In the end, the only person who truly cares how you lived your life is you.

Today’s action: Take note of anything you’re doing to impress other people, but that you don’t derive enjoyment from. Then consider what would happen if you stopped doing those things.

Things that come to mind is we were shopping at the uber fancy grocery for everything. It's fun to go and "be seen" there, possibly in part because it is one of the few liberal enclaves in this cursed, cesspool of hillbillies and racists (this is unfortunately not hyperbole). With UFM, we switched to getting only a couple of items that are priced good there, plus made it a treat place since they have an amazing and cheap deli. There really isn't that much more for me, although I know my wife is more concerned with how other react to her.