Case in point:
A woman from a solidly middle class background goes to college, gets a pointless liberal arts degree, gets married, buys house, works/becomes superwoman, retires, goes on a cruise, dies.
Okay, I figured I could do that but rock star that I was, my 20 year old self tried to screw with the recipe. So, it actually went like this:
Move to a cool city and get a crappy restaurant job. Wait a year, then start classes. Focus on an "easy" major I didn't care about because I was good at it. Drop out. Drop back in. Drop out. Rinse. Repeat. Give up on school. Get married. Have kids. Break into the career I tried to go to college for. Yep, I'm good at it, still don't like it. It lets me work from home, though. Buy house. Husband comes out as transgender. Hmm, always suspected something was up. Work through that hot mess of shit and come out on the other side a strong couple and happy family.
Now here is where it gets interesting:
Dad dies and mom goes batshit crazy. Oh wait, she was always crazy, just no more dad to reign her crazy in. She latches onto me in her codependent craze and lots of bad shit from my childhood resurfaces. Not abuse of the physical sort, just the memories of growing up with a mentally unstable mother.
Shit got bad. I developed anxiety. I dreaded waking up each day, never sure what kind of crazy would greet me. I ballooned up to 225 lbs and was just plodding slowly toward death.
And then I said enough. For shits and giggles I took this home naturalist course to encourage myself to get off my ass and go outside again. The observation lead to further study, then to a few free Coursera classes in the sciences.
I remembered who I was until I was 13... I had wanted to be a scientist. I collected everything. For a few years it was rocks. I can still identify a ton of different rocks. Then it was shells. Leaf rubbings were the thing for awhile. Why did I stop?
Oh yeah. 7th grade algebra and Mrs. MsDermott. (Yeah, Terry McDermott, I calling out your shiz.) Like millions before me and millions after me, linear equations were the most confusing thing my 12 year old brain had ever encountered. Mrs. M's solution? Force me out of algebra and into remedial instead of doing her job AND TEACHING. Actually told me that few girls are good at math and since I was already in honors English this was probably for the best. By the time I hit college, I had 100% internalized that message and took the degree option that required only a cursory math credit.
Older and wiser now, I fought back. I enrolled in the local college as a biology major. I took my math placement and totally bombed. I regrouped and began the college remedial math program. Know what happened? I totally rocked linear equations! In fact, I totally rocked the class. I had a full load of only that class and science classes, and I finished the quarter with a 3.8 GPA! (4.0 in just the science classes.)
Don't tell me what I can't do.
So, this made me realize a few other things...
I hate writing for money. My career was killing me.
I hate home ownership, at least the American Dream interpretation.
I hate trying to conform to the norms placed upon women of my age and demographic.
I hate living a fully urban life.
I hate being a slave to money.
I love my kids and wife. Best thing to come out of my life thus far.
I love alternative living options -- minimalism, yurts, vanlife, tiny homes.
I love science, particularly botany and biology.
I love the academic world, but I love field study more.
I love the cold PNW coast, the forests, the mountains.
So I'm pursuing freedom. My wife and I have made a pledge to live our best lives. Our visions of what this means don't align perfectly, but they align on the things that really matter. The rest can progress in parallel just fine.
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